Community Begins Within

Sometimes I pursue community and sometimes I run from it. In between the two, I delight in being alone with Jesus. Community isn't always easy for me and who can argue with spending quiet time with the Lord? But Jesus is the relational Christ and we're called to reflect who he is. Part of that reflection is being in community.

My title at the Institute of Formational Counseling at Ashland Seminary is "small group specialist." The course I teach in the Doctor of Ministry Counseling track is healing in small groups. But teaching about groups, leading groups, and writing about community is a far cry from participating in groups and living like Jesus in relationships. Since our move to the Ashland area, after living in Northwest Ohio for thirty-one years, being in community has been rather difficult. Sometimes I'd rather be alone than develop new friendships and small group encounters.

(Does that ever happen to you? Do you ever find yourself in that safe place of talking about something, or like me, teaching about it, rather than experiencing it?)

Stephen Seamands, professor of Christian doctrine at Asbury Seminary, reminds me of the importance of  living out the relational nature of Christ in his Ministry in the Image of God  The Trinitarian Shape of Christian Service. I've been revisiting his book and am challenged again to work out the stumbling blocks I place in my path to building  relationships within community.

Recently my daughter shared with me some highlights of a marriage conference she attended at her church. The conference speaker listed obstacles to intimacy in relationships. One of them listed was negative self-talk. I found that quite intriguing; self-talk as something that gets in the way of developing positive relationships. And then it sunk in more deeply and, for me, the message morphed to community begins within. Looking within is a key for me in my struggle for and in community. And when I look inward I find negative thoughts, often centered around self, that get in the way of experiencing others in my communities of family and friends. Exploring the "within" was what led me to Seamands book again.

I've underlined, highlighted, and sticky tabbed several of Seamands statements that pushed me to think more deeply about community. Here are just a few I reread today:


Quoting Colin Gunton in The Promise of the Trinity: "If God is a communion of persons inseparably related, then . . . it is in our relatedness to others that our being human consists."

"Human beings, created in the image of the triune God, are constituted for relationship."

"Who we are in our relationships with people generally trumps what we do for people."

All great thoughts, but what do I need in order to be that person in community, to focus on others and not what's running around in my head?

As I pondered this and perused the last part of Seamands book, there it was, something I missed at the first read. Seamands, quoting the apostle Paul, presented a scripture to rescue me in  my struggle to form relationships and address negative self-talk:

"Christ in you, the hope of glory."

Within all my self-talk, I wondered, where is Christ? If not Christ in me, then what am I bringing to community? (I believe I will be thinking on these things for more than a few days!)


 At the juncture of Seamands' focus on the phrase "Christ in you," Seamands points to Ruth Paxson's book "Life on the Highest Plane." Here she describes the "Christ in you" experience.

     "To be a Christian is nothing less than to have the glorified Christ living in us in actual presence, possession and power. It is to have Him as the Life of our life in such a way and to such a degree that we can say even as Paul said, "To me to live is Christ." To be a Christian is to grow up into Christ in all things: it is to have that divine seed which was planted in our innermost spirit blossom out into a growing conformity to His perfect life. To be a Christian is to have Christ the life of our minds, our hearts, our will, so that it is Christ thinking through us, living through us, willing through us. It is increasingly to have no life but the life of Christ within us filling us with ever increasing measure."

Paxson's words give me a place to re-start my approach to community. I tend to have to learn these teachings again and again. At least for now, community begins within.