If you've been keeping up with my posts, you might agree with the statement that I've established a need for prayer quite well, thank you! So let's "put some meat on them bones" of prayer and move into the practical.
In a previous post, Anatomy of a Care Ministry: The Heart of the Matter, I promised to discuss how we currently minister to people while in the organizational stages of a care ministry. My experience in training seminary students for ministry is that many do not know their options when people are in crisis or struggling with trauma of the past and childhood wounds. For example, the last time I taught a Pastoral Care and Counseling class, I asked the students why they signed up for this particular course. For some, it was a requirement. But several of the students were graduating soon and were concerned with their lack of training for pastoral care ministry. They wanted to "get this course in" before they were done with formal seminary education. I'm always impressed at their sincerity and deep desire to love people with the love of Jesus and bring good biblical counsel to their future flocks. But I sometimes find a disconnect between their passion and their understanding of how to proceed.
The following is a conversation I've had over the years with many prospective pastors in my seminary Pastoral Care and Counseling 101 classes. It illustrates how some students think about care and counseling in the local church.
Me: "What will you do when people come to you with personal problems? Perhaps they are depressed, have marriage problems, or suffer from a mid-life crisis?
Student #1: "I will find out what their problem is and refer them to someone who is a specialist. After all, I'm not qualified to treat depression and haven't taken the advanced marital counseling class."
Me: "Yes, knowing your limits is a good thing. It is unethical and possibly hurtful to counsel someone that needs a professional or a specialist in their area of need. Finding out the problem is good so you know to whom to refer. What else will you do?"
Student #2: "I will pray during the session and ask them if I can put them on the prayer chain."
Me: "Yes, prayer is always a priority when we meet with people. What else?"
Student #3: "I will meet with them three times, explaining up front that I'm not a counselor, but will try to help in any way I can and then refer."
Me: "Yes, it is good to know your boundaries regarding your schedule and giftedness. What else, class?"
Student #4: "I will counsel them once a week for a period of six months. I love to counsel and that is one of my gifts."
Me: "You are wise in that problems often take a long time and hurting people may need a lot of attention. What else will you do?"
Blank stares from the class.
Hmmm... All of these students have excellent answers. None of the answers are off base. They understand the importance of making a good referral and taking care of their congregation members.
I do believe there are three central action plans that are missing in the above conversation. We can take action now, even before a well-developed care ministry is intact.
Here are three areas of focus you can initiate today with hurting people:
1. Connection to the body of Christ
2. Provision for core longings
3. Implementation of a team ministry concept
Referral to professionals is an important element of care for those who need that level of expertise. But, here's the good news! There are specific things we can do within the local church body to make a difference in people's lives.
I will develop each of these action plans above in future posts. In the meantime, I challenge you to consider the question regarding the provision of care to our congregations.
What else can you do "in the now" for people that need spiritual and emotional healing?
(comments welcome!)
As King Arthur sang in answer to the question "How to handle a woman?" - "Love her!" Donna, all your students' answers are correct, proper, and academically distant. And perhaps they do need to be aware of these matters for proper boundary setting, etc. But if pastors are to show the astonishing love of the Prodigal Father even to the most hurting and wayward of His children, what we need to learn is how to love them ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that it would be a serious wound to a parishioner if she got the idea from her pastor that "God may love you, but I could care less." To many if not most of the people we minister to, we are the living face of Jesus, and the more closely they see our love and care for them the more clearly they will see the love and care of Jesus for them.
Yes, we need to know how to set boundaries, and yes, we need to know when we need to refer; but we pastors also need to know how to love the people the Father gives us to shepherd.
Yes, there is a time and place for every suggestion from the students. In fact, I would say their suggestions fall into Chris Cahill's answer of "loving" them.
ReplyDeleteOne practical, yet highly effective way to "love" them, is to use proper touch. Dr. Wardle once alluded to the importance of the use of proper touch when he indicated that when a person of position touched his shoulder or arm in passing, it was like an immediate connection with and acceptance by the Body of Christ.